“What Can I Say to Calm My Anxiety?”: 5 Phrases to Try
If there’s one thing I know about anxiety, it’s that it turns your brain into an echo chamber of thoughts that seem to move at warp speed. It’s one of many reasons why so many people who experience anxiety wish they could find an off switch—a quiet mind sounds like a luxury that’ll never be in reach.
But what if there was something you could do to turn the volume down, even a little bit? Would you try it? Given that you’re here reading this, I’m going to assume that answer is yes.
You have a powerful tool right at your fingertips: your own voice and the words you choose to tell yourself.
I’m Halle Thomas, an anxiety therapist for millennial professionals in Boulder, Denver, and Portland. In my private therapy practice, I provide holistic anxiety therapy to millennials of all genders who are ready to trade in self-doubt for self-trust.
In this post, I’ll be covering some of the basic science behind self-talk, how you can use self-talk to soothe your anxiety, and more.
A Brief Note on Anxiety
Before we dive into specific phrases and strategies, I want to remind you of something in case you haven’t come across my writing before: I don’t vie your anxiety as a personal failure. Not only is anxiety a normal human response to stress, but it can be a result of experiencing things you have zero control over.
The Science Behind Self-Talk and Why It Works
Research has shown that the way we speak to ourselves can dramatically impact our emotional state. Neurologically, compassionate self-talk can actually help regulate the nervous system. This then reduces the production of stress hormones like cortisol and promotes the release of calming neurotransmitters.
In my experience, compassionate self-talk can also help you to better understand your own experience.
Powerful Phrases to Calm Anxiety
1. "I’m in the middle of an intense feeling that has an end.”
Here’s the thing, all emotions have a beginning, a middle, and an end. No feeling, no matter how intense, lasts forever. Anxiety, however, can be so unpleasant that you might do everything you can to stop it in its tracks. Acknowledging where you are in the emotion cycle can provide some helpful context that is also soothing.
2. "Anxiety isn’t always honest."
Anxiety often tricks us into believing we're in immediate danger, even when we're not. By reminding yourself that anxiety isn’t always honest, you start to poke a hole in the narrative anxiety is broadcasting in your mind.
3. "Anxiety is creative, but so am I."
This is one of my personal favorites I’ve used countless times. The reality is, anxiety is creative (as evidenced by the number of wild worst-case-scenarios it tries to convince you will happen). Reminding yourself of your own creativity can help to break through intense moments of anxiety.
4. "My thoughts are not facts."
Anxiety loves to disguise assumptions and worst-case scenarios as absolute truths. Remind yourself that just because you're thinking something doesn't make it real.
5. "I’m doing the best I can."
Self-compassion is a powerful antidote to anxiety. Acknowledge your efforts and be kind to yourself. You’re not always going to operate at 100% and that’s part of being human.
Developing Compassionate Self-Talk Takes Practice
When you struggle with anxiety, being kind to yourself won’t feel natural at first. With practice though, it can become a powerful way of soothing yourself when anxiety is particularly intense.
When Self-Talk Isn't Enough
While compassionate self-talk is incredibly powerful, it’s normal to need different types of support in different scenarios. If anxiety consistently interferes with your daily life, consider talking with a therapist, like me.
I’m licensed to work with clients who are based in Colorado and Oregon. If you’d like to expand your anxiety toolkit, reach out to me today to schedule your free consultation call.
During our call, we’ll talk about what it looks like to work together. This includes helping you decide which therapy service is right for you. After that, we’ll get you scheduled for your first therapy appointment if we’re a good fit for each other!
Final Thoughts
Remember, your own voice can be a powerful tool in soothing your anxiety. Practice using these new phrases the next time you’re caught up in a moment of anxiety.
You've got this.
