Is It Okay to Cry in Therapy?
Have you ever found yourself on the verge of tears during a therapy session, only to hold back because you weren't sure if it was appropriate? Or maybe you've wondered if crying in front of your therapist might make you appear weak or overly emotional. If these thoughts have crossed your mind, you're not alone. Today, we're diving deep into a question that many therapy-goers grapple with: Is it okay to cry in therapy?
The Short Answer: Yes, Absolutely!
Yes, it is completely okay to cry in therapy. In fact, it's more than okay; it can be a vital part of the therapeutic process. Therapy is a space designed for you to safely explore your emotions, confront difficult truths, and work through challenging experiences. Crying is a natural, healthy expression of emotion that can play a significant role in your healing journey.
If you still have your doubts, that’s okay. In this post, we’ll get into how crying crying in therapy is not just acceptable, but often beneficial. We’ll also get into the role of emotions in therapy, the benefits of crying, and how to navigate therapy sessions where you start to cry.
Understanding Emotions in Therapy
Therapy is a space where you learn to actually process your emotions. Whether you step into your therapist's office, or log into your sessions from your computer, you're entering a space where all of your feelings - joy, sadness, anger, fear, and everything in between - are welcome.
The Purpose of Therapy
The goal of therapy isn't to make you happy all the time or to eliminate negative emotions. Instead, it's about helping you understand, manage, and process your emotions more effectively. This often involves:
Identifying and naming your emotions
Understanding the root causes of your feelings
Learning healthy ways to express and cope with difficult emotions
Developing resilience and emotional regulation skills
Crying isn't a sign of weakness or failure. It's a normal part of processing emotions and can be a sign that you're engaging deeply with the therapeutic process.
The Benefits of Crying in Therapy
Now that we've established that crying is okay in therapy, let's explore why it can be beneficial:
1. Emotional Release
Crying serves as a natural release valve for our emotions. When we cry, our bodies release stress hormones in our tears, which can help us feel calmer and more relaxed afterward. In therapy, this release can be extra powerful since it often comes after discussing or confronting difficult issues.
2. Deepening Self-Understanding
Tears in therapy often signal that you've touched on something significant. They can help you identify areas of pain, grief, or stress that you might not have fully recognized before. This deepened self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and healing.
3. Strengthening the Therapeutic Relationship
Allowing yourself to cry in front of your therapist can strengthen your therapeutic relationship. It demonstrates trust and vulnerability, which are key components of effective therapy. Plus, it gives your therapist valuable insight into your emotional world.
4. Processing Trauma and Grief
For many people, therapy is a place to work through traumatic experiences or process grief. Crying is a natural and necessary part of this healing process. It allows you to connect with and express the pain associated with these experiences, which is often the first step toward healing.
5. Practicing Emotional Authenticity
In a world where we often feel pressure to "keep it together," therapy offers a rare opportunity to be fully authentic with our emotions. Learning to express your feelings openly in therapy can translate to greater emotional authenticity in your daily life.
What to Do if You Cry During Therapy: Tips and Considerations
While crying in therapy is perfectly okay, it's natural to feel a bit uncertain about how to handle it. Here are some tips to help you navigate crying during your therapy sessions:
1. Communicate with Your Therapist
If you're feeling hesitant about crying in therapy, talk to your therapist about it. Your therapist wants to know about any concerns you have. They can also reassure you if you’re worried about crying in front of them.
2. Bring Tissues
It's always a good idea to have tissues on hand. Most therapists keep them in their offices, but you can also bring your own if it makes you more comfortable. For those who attend therapy online, make sure to keep some tissues nearby in case you need them.
3. Take Your Time
If you start crying during a session, there's no need to rush through it or apologize. Take the time you need to feel and express your emotions fully.
4. Remember: It's Not Always About Sadness
Tears aren't always about sadness. People cry for a variety reasons - frustration, anger, joy, relief, or even when feeling overwhelmed by a breakthrough. Don't assume that crying always equates to sadness.
Why It’s Sometimes Hard to Cry in Therapy
Despite the benefits, many people still feel uncomfortable crying in therapy. This discomfort often stems from societal stigmas and personal beliefs about emotional expression. Here are some common concerns:
"Crying Makes Me Weak"
This belief often comes from societal messages that equate emotional control with strength. I see this most often with the men I work with, who’ve been told that crying isn’t acceptable. It’s incredibly unfair that society makes many men believe that they’re not allowed to cry based on their gender.
"I Don't Want to Burden My Therapist"
Remember, therapists are trained professionals who have chosen a career in helping people navigate their emotions. Your tears are not a burden; they're a part of the work. While other people in your life might not know how to respond to your tears, let yourself practice trusting your therapist. They can handle your tears.
"I'm Afraid I Won't Be Able to Stop"
While this fear is common, most people find that allowing themselves to cry actually helps them move through the emotion more quickly than trying to hold it back. Will there be temporary discomfort? Yes. Will it pass? Also yes.
"I'm Embarrassed"
Feeling embarrassed about crying is normal. Your therapist has likely seen many clients cry and views it as a natural part of the process. If you feel embarrassed about crying, your therapist can help you pinpoint where this feeling of embarrassment comes from.
When Crying Becomes a Concern
While crying in therapy is generally healthy, there are a few situations where it might be a cause for concern:
If crying is so frequent or intense that it consistently prevents you from engaging in the therapeutic process
If you feel manipulated into crying or like your emotions are being exploited
If you're unable to stop crying for extended periods, even outside of therapy
In these cases, it's important to discuss your concerns with your therapist. They can help you understand what's happening and adjust your treatment plan if necessary.
Embracing Vulnerability: The Courage to Cry
Allowing yourself to cry in therapy takes courage. It requires vulnerability and a willingness to confront difficult emotions. But it's through this vulnerability that real growth and healing occur.
Remember, your tears are a sign of your humanity, your ability to feel deeply, and your courage in facing your emotions head-on. They are not something to be ashamed of or to hide. Instead, they are a powerful tool in your journey towards emotional well-being and personal growth.
Your Tears are Welcome in Therapy
So, is it okay to cry in therapy? Absolutely. Not only is it okay, but it can also be an integral part of your healing journey. Your tears are a sign that you're engaging deeply with the therapeutic process, confronting difficult truths, and working towards growth and healing.
The next time you feel tears welling up during a therapy session, try to embrace them. Allow yourself to experience and express your emotions fully. Remember, in the safe space of therapy, your tears are not just okay - they're welcome.
Therapy is your time to focus on yourself, to explore your emotions, and to work towards becoming the healthiest, most authentic version of yourself. And sometimes, that journey involves tears. So go ahead, let them flow. Your future self will thank you for having the courage to feel, to cry, and to heal.
Hi! I’m Halle, your Anxiety Therapist.
I work with anxious millennial professionals who are fed up with the cycle of overworking and burnout.
If you live in either Colorado or Oregon, I’d love to work with you! Book your free intro call to get started!
